I want to talk about something today which has made our lives really miserable: A deluge of WhatsApp messages I receive from my friends, relatives, known and unknown beings.
Hey, did this topic resonate with you too? It must have!
WhatsApp has made communication easier than ever. It has also, ironically, made many of us less considerate of one another’s time.
In Kashmir, there seems to be a growing expectation that if someone is on WhatsApp, they must also be available to us. A message is sent, and if there is no response within minutes, or sometimes even seconds, the sender begins to wonder: Why has he not replied? Is she ignoring me? Has something happened? Or, worse, is the person deliberately avoiding me?
We need to pause and rethink this habit.
The fact that a message has been delivered does not mean that the recipient is free to respond.
People have jobs, meetings, family responsibilities, personal difficulties and emergencies. Someone may be sitting in a serious meeting, attending to a patient in a hospital, driving, dealing with a family crisis, studying, travelling or simply trying to get some much-needed rest.
Yet we increasingly treat delayed replies as a personal offence.
Of course, some messages are genuinely important and deserve a prompt response. If something is urgent, say so clearly. A simple “Please call me when you can, it is important” is far more considerate than repeatedly sending messages, question marks, missed calls and reminders.
But there is another category of WhatsApp communication that deserves some honest reflection: unsolicited messages that have little or no value to the recipient.
Forwarded videos. Endless good-morning messages. Political arguments. Random photographs. Long voice notes. Nostalgic stories sent to people who may not share the sender’s interest. Messages demanding opinions on matters that are neither urgent nor relevant for you.
And then comes the expectation of a reply.
Why?
We need to understand that information itself has become a form of pressure. Most people today receive an enormous volume of digital communication every day. WhatsApp groups alone can generate hundreds of messages. Add work-related communication, family groups, friends, professional contacts and personal messages, and it becomes impossible to process everything immediately.
Sometimes people miss a message. Sometimes they read it and intend to respond later but forget. Sometimes they simply do not have the mental space to engage.
That does not necessarily mean disrespect.
Unfortunately, delayed responses are increasingly interpreted as statements about relationships. Friendships become strained. Professional relationships become uncomfortable. Family members feel ignored. Some people even develop a negative opinion of someone simply because that person did not respond to a WhatsApp message quickly enough.
In some cases, relationships have reportedly ended over nothing more than accumulated resentment around unreplied WhatsApp messages.
We need a little more generosity in interpreting silence.
Before concluding that someone is arrogant, careless or deliberately ignoring us, perhaps we should ask ourselves: What if that person is simply busy?
Good WhatsApp etiquette is ultimately about respecting boundaries.
