I often find myself asking a difficult question: What is the meaning of educating our children for success if, in the end, parents are left alone in old age — needing not money, but presence?
Let me be clear from the beginning. Education itself is not the problem. Education is what gives children dignity, opportunity and independence. It allows them to build careers, support families and contribute to society. The real problem begins when education is reduced to only three outcomes: a degree, a salary and a social status.
If education produces successful professionals but not responsible human beings, then something is broken — not in education as an idea, but in the way we define success. We have taught many children how to compete. We have not taught enough of them how to remain connected.
Across South Asia and in many migrant families around the world, a familiar pattern is emerging. Parents spend decades making sacrifices for their children — paying school fees, arranging coaching, supporting higher studies, even helping with the paperwork required for migration. The hope is simple: that their children will “settle well.”
Today, “settling well” often means settling abroad.
When that moment arrives, families celebrate. Degrees are framed. Job offers are announced with pride. A foreign visa becomes a symbol of collective achievement. But slowly, another reality begins to take shape at home. Parents grow older. Illnesses begin to appear. Mobility decreases. Social circles shrink.
And loneliness deepens.
At that stage many parents discover a painful truth: financial support can arrive on time, but human presence cannot always be couriered across continents.
A bank transfer can pay for medicine. It cannot sit beside a mother in silence. It cannot notice a father’s quiet depression. It cannot replace the simple reassurance of hearing a child say, “I am here.”
Yet fairness also demands that we acknowledge another reality. Not every child living abroad neglects their parents. Many sons and daughters working overseas remain deeply devoted. They call regularly, visit whenever possible, arrange medical care, manage emergencies and support their parents with discipline and love.
At the same time, we all know examples of children living in the same city who still neglect their parents.
The issue, therefore, is not abroad versus at home. The real issue is responsibility versus convenience.
Distance is real. Visa restrictions are real. Professional pressure is real. Many children abroad are raising young families of their own while navigating immigration rules and demanding jobs. These are not excuses, but they are realities that families must understand.
Instead of moralizing the problem, we should ask a more serious question: Are we preparing families for old age, or only preparing children for careers?
Our education system celebrates achievement once a child secures a degree, a job and perhaps a foreign address. But where in this model do we teach values such as filial responsibility, elder care, gratitude or emotional awareness?
A child may learn to solve complex equations, manage technology systems or lead corporate teams. But if that same child cannot make time for ageing parents, then society must ask whether it has confused qualification with character.
Education must prepare students not only to earn. It must also prepare them to belong.
In today’s globalized world, migration will continue. Careers will move people across countries. Families will increasingly become transnational. The solution therefore cannot simply be to stop sending children abroad.
The solution is more thoughtful and more demanding.
Families must begin discussing ageing, care and emotional support long before a crisis occurs. Parents and children should openly talk about practical questions: who will respond during a medical emergency, what support networks exist locally, how often meaningful visits can happen, and how emotional wellbeing will be monitored, not just finances.
These conversations are uncomfortable, but they are necessary. Silence is not love. Planning is.
As parents, we should continue encouraging our children to dream big. We should celebrate their ambitions and support their education. But perhaps our dreams need a small correction.
Not only: “My child should become successful.”
Also: “My child should remain humane.”
Not only: “My child should settle abroad.”
Also: “My child should never emotionally migrate away from family.”
In the end, the real test of education is not merely professional success. It is whether success strengthens our humanity rather than weakening our relationships.
A society that produces brilliant careers but lonely parents still has an important lesson to learn.
The answer is not to educate less.
The answer is to educate better.
The author is a regular columnist and freelance writer.
